so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
