A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
