If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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