The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I had to cum in my sink.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
