I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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