Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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