I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i think i have herpe
just one?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
