Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
