He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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