I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
