Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
