This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
