**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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