I just made out with a guy for $7.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
