Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
