Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
