Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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