That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
