bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
