you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
