and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
