As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
