Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I don't think brook has ever known best
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
