She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
