dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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