You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
All I want is dick and wine.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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