they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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