the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
