can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
