it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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