what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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