im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
They took my balls.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
