When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Sorry my hands just texted you
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
