Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
