I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
