Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
