4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
