At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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