This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
