This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Randomize
