So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
