guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
