fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
