We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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