We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Nicole vs. Life
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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