After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
