His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
