I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
