Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
