How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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