Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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