just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
