Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
