You work out of a Hotel?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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