haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
