508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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